Slow Decisions in a Fast World: What Qualitative Research Reveals About Consumer Delay

One child proudly showed another a sticker journal she had been working on for weeks. The other child, feeling uneasy, rushed home and asked her mom to order 2000 stickers at the click of a button. She ran back to Child A and said, “Hah! Now I will make a better sticker journal than you.”

Feeling dejected, Child A turned to her mom, tearful. “She got 2000 stickers from Amazon for just 200 Rs. I’ve been working on my journal for so long—can we please order them too?” The mother hesitated. The amount wasn’t significant, and her child had been dedicated to her journal. But was feeding into instant gratification the right move? Would it set a precedent for wanting more, faster?

It was difficult to explain delayed gratification to a 10-year-old, but something had to be done. Instead, she fed the need for instant gratification in a different way. She took her daughter to a garden and asked, “Can we grow a beautiful tree overnight?” Her child shook her head. “Some things take time,” the mother said, handing her a packet of seeds. “Why don’t we plant these together and watch them grow?” The act of planting created excitement, and as they watered the soil, the urgency over stickers faded.

The Rise of Quick Commerce

Quick commerce has reshaped consumer expectations. Initially focused on groceries and medicines, it has expanded to lifestyle products, fueled by changing habits and hyperlocal logistics. Search trends like “15-minute delivery” and “fastest online shopping” surged post-pandemic, reflecting a growing expectation for speed across all categories. Companies like Zepto, Blinkit, and Swiggy Instamart capitalized on this shift, making near-instant shopping a norm. Businesses thrive on fulfilling this instant demand, yet the long-term effects on consumer psychology remain largely unexplored.

Quick Commerce and the Brain: Rewiring for Instant Gratification

Instant gratification triggers dopamine, reinforcing a craving for speed. As everything—from food to fashion—is delivered in minutes, patience erodes. The constant cycle of rapid rewards can alter how we perceive time, making even brief waits feel frustrating. This racing mindset can heighten stress and anxiety, making inevitable delays—like airport security, job hunts, or college admissions—feel unbearable.

The Link Between a Racing Lifestyle and Mental Health

The shift toward hyper-efficiency mirrors a broader societal trend—one where speed is equated with success. But this acceleration has consequences. Studies suggest that the inability to tolerate waiting correlates with higher stress levels and a reduced ability to handle setbacks. If everything arrives instantly, what happens when life demands patience?

The Inescapable Wait: Airports, Jobs, and College Admissions

Some processes cannot be rushed. Air travel, job applications, and college admissions all demand time and uncertainty. Yet, as quick commerce fosters an expectation of immediacy, frustration with these unavoidable waits intensifies. Can we sustain a mindset that tolerates delayed rewards when much of our daily life now revolves around instant delivery?

The Impact on Deep Work and Focus

Tasks requiring long periods of concentration—writing, scientific research, skill-building—are at odds with an environment built for speed. If a generation grows up expecting instant outcomes, will they struggle with deep work and perseverance? The ability to focus for extended periods is already waning, with constant digital interruptions reshaping attention spans.

Will We Lose the Ability to Wait?

Patience is a muscle that needs to be exercised. Without it, frustration replaces resilience. While quick commerce enhances convenience, it also risks weakening our ability to tolerate delays, setbacks, and the natural rhythms of life.

Before You Click on the Next 10-Minute Delivery, Ask Yourself:

In a race, speed is rewarded—but is life truly a race? And to which finishing line is this speed taking us?

#QuickCommerce #InstantGratification #PatienceVsSpeed #RewiringOurBrains #ConsumerBehavior #FastButAtWhatCost #DigitalAgeDilemma #HyperEfficiency #AttentionSpanCrisis #DelayedGratification #RacingMindset #DeepWork #FutureOfWaiting

AI & Childhood Thinking: What Qualitative Research Tells Us About Learning in the Age of Machines

“Mama, can we get an Alexa?” Yes, it’s 2025, and we’re still living without Alexa—or any of its competing devices.
“Why do you need Alexa?” I asked.
“So that when I’m reading, I can ask Alexa for words I don’t know.”
“What do you do now when you don’t know the meanings of words?”
“I try to figure out the meaning through the context.”
“That’s called 'inferring'.”
“Can you imagine what would happen when we get Alexa at home? I’d stop inferring.”
“How does inferring help you?”
“I can guess the meanings of so many new words, even when I first encounter them.”
“Yes, and if you start asking Alexa, your brain won’t be doing that anymore. Alexa is just 'searching' and dispensing information.”

Can you imagine what AI could do with its generative capacity when children as young as six or seven are exposed to it? ChatGPT is everyone's favorite new tool these days—whether it’s the 40-something homemaker looking for a quick parenting tip, the busy executive too rushed to write their own emails, or the student typing, “Give me 5 real-world examples of Newton’s 1st Law of Motion.”
Last week, I was introduced to two new concepts: "cognitive offloading" and "cognitive hygiene." If we continue to offload more and more of our thinking to ChatGPT or similar platforms, we must start considering how we will balance the cognitive depletion that comes with it.

Before we rush to expose children to these tools in the name of responsible digital access, let’s not forget the story of the young man who couldn’t finish his sentences in a job interview. When asked what was wrong, he sheepishly admitted that he was used to ChatGPT doing it for him.

While AI has great potential, it's important to use it thoughtfully. I’ve seen AI tools effectively bridge learning gaps, like language apps that map sounds to letters. It’s the purposeful use of AI that holds promise, rather than unfettered, access that could inadvertently diminish the very cognitive skills we seek to enhance. 

#CognitiveOffloading#AIandLearning #AIinEducation #DigitalDependency
#CognitiveHygiene #AIImpact #FutureOfThinking#childdevelopment

AI, Authority, and Acceptance: Mapping Societal Codes Through Qualitative Research

The other day, while chatting with my daughter about the difference between authoritarian and totalitarian regimes, we decided to ask ChatGPT for its take on North Korea. It initially called North Korea an authoritarian regime, but my 10-year-old quickly pointed out, "No, it’s totalitarian!"

We asked ChatGPT again, and it corrected itself. My daughter, always quick to notice things, said, “See, mama, it’s covering up for its mistake.” 

I explained that AI doesn’t have an ego like humans—it’s not trying to defend itself. It just learns and updates based on the feedback it gets. No pride to hurt, just a chance to get it right.

This little moment was a reminder that it's okay to make mistakes and adjust—whether you're an AI or a person. We don’t have to be perfect, but we can be open to learning and improving. In the real or the virtual world what often saves the day is not - being right all the time but being willing to learn and adapt.

It is no surprise how children learn that 'mistakes need to be covered up'. It is hard to raise children in a society that penalises mistakes. Even if they are in a family or a school, which does not penalise all mistakes, inadvertently, in some situation - this thought seeps through to them - from other children, well-meaning neighbours and random strangers. It is difficult to reverse this thought once it takes root in one's mind. But certainly possible to replace it with a more accepting one. 

In one set of the research observations we conducted in a few government schools in Bangalore, with an intervention that was meant to plug in learning gaps - the volunteers who went about this program told the children each time they made a mistake - "don't worry, mistakes can be rectified" - and showed them how to rectify the errors. In 'all' our conversations with the children, we heard them repeat this like a chant. 

Teaching kids that “mistakes can be rectified” is a simple yet powerful way to build resilience. It flips the narrative. Instead of fearing failure, it becomes a natural part of the learning process.

#AI #Leadership #Mistakes #growthmindset

Town Mouse City Mouse

Last month en route to Goa, I spent an evening in Unkal. The contrast between the children I encountered in these two places was stark. 

Meandering through the town streets, I happened to enter a church. I expected it to be empty though was pleasantly surprised by a group of children old and young sincerely practising for their dance & skit performance. I asked them if I could sit and watch for a while. They were warm and welcoming. They made eye contact and smiled. 

We also had a brief conversation about what the kids were doing there late evening. I learnt they were part of the VBS (Vacation Bible Class). The church was a safe space for the kids to learn something useful and not fall into the wrong company. It made perfect sense. During my recent research conversations with mothers in Kanpur and Indore, almost all the moms I spoke to lamented about the lack of a safe space where their kids could hang out in the company of other children. The small townhouses open up on busy streets and that makes it not just physically unsafe but also exposes their children to language and behaviour that may not be age-appropriate. Hence most children stay indoors devoid of same-age company and free play. By contrast, the Unkal church kids spent their mornings and evenings at the church. The hot breakfast at church was a bonus. The church functioned like a community centre, welcoming even strangers like us. A few mothers were hanging out there too after their day's work. Posters made by the children, with empowering messages, adorned the walls. A whiteboard with the exact count of children across age groups who attended the VBS each day signalled to me that this was not a casual activity. 

The children (mostly 8-10-year-olds) were remarkably calm and less fidgety. The sincerity to learn something new was apparent on their faces. When their instructor asked them to observe her, I did not see their attention flitting here or there. They were all eyes on the instructor. “They are so distinctly different from us”, pointed my city mouse. “Many a time the city mice are constantly fidgeting, fiddling around with themselves or others and are easily distracted”. We explored why and came up with a hypothesis that this could be attributed to their lifestyle and environment that was not flooded with stimulation. We also observed a lot more independence and risk-taking in the town mice and their parents doing their own thing and not hovering around them. 

The next day at Goa was a completely different experience. There was a wedding to attend. My city mouse was looking for some same-age company. I assured her, going by my old memories of weddings that there would be lots of children to play with and even if we don't know them, they’ll end up befriending each other in no time. George Ball, an American diplomat, said “Nostalgia is a seductive liar”. Like a talented seductress, nostalgia will rope you in and cause you to lose sight of reality. And so it did. 99% of the children at the venue, irrespective of age had a personal digital device they were glued to. They hardly ate, ran, or even looked up and away from their screens. The adults around them chatted away amongst themselves. What was worse was even when these children were not with their devices they would not make eye contact with others or smile. Conversation with them was a distant dream. 

I wondered, how would they learn the art of making conversations that the town mice were so easily adept at. What would be the long-term effects of social ineptitude or a lowering attention span on their life, health and future? Is there a tipping point beyond which over-exposure does a disservice to a child rather than making him smart? In a generation growing up with devices, would simple skills like connecting with other humans, being able to read body language or sustaining conversations give someone an edge over the rest? 

I remember visiting Kashmir as an 8-year-old and another child on the bus journey between Srinagar and Jammu carrying a bagful of snow back home, only to realise somewhere along the way that it will eventually melt. As we crossed Unkal on our way back to Bangalore, I felt like that child who wanted to bag the simplicity, fewer choices and a more focused environment of the town and bring it back home as a gift for the city mouse who lives with me, though somewhere along the way, within a few days of having reached the city, that would all just melt or maybe I just needed a different metaphor - one that would last!

A big mess - what do children like about it?

Children have their own logic, their own sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair. It is fascinating to peek into their world. Mess is a child's best friend. I used to always wonder why. Then one day, I stopped wondering and asked a child and this is what emerged. LISTEN IN

Monkey see - monkey do

What are the dots that connect the broken window theory, unique baby names and a 200-square-foot cafe on a high street in the city? Behavioural scientists called it the ‘social nudge.’ In common parlance it is described as monkey see - monkey do :)

There is a (relatively) new cafe on 12th Main, Indiranagar. It is unlike the regular cafes that seem mostly empty, with inviting interiors and where one can spend many hours just looking outside the window. 

Instead, this one has a crowd of people not less than 50, on weekends it could easily go up to 100 standing outside, jostling for space for their share of their morning idli. Whenever I passed by, I always wondered what is so special about their idli? Turns out, many others think like me. I had a neighbour who travelled 12 km one Sunday morning to unravel this mystery. She did not come back with any revealing insights. The idli was the same as any other. Many days later, I happened to make a pit spot there. I noticed the cafe operates from a space that was 200 sq. feet. They have a partially open kitchen and a cash till. So by default, anyone who is a customer is standing in the outside space. They save on high street rents and also pull the crowds by the sheer number of people crowded there. Because monkeys see - monkeys do. Their crowds spill over onto the 12th Main. I guess that must have prompted them to rent out the space occupied by Naturals next door. A win-win for both. One business gets space, the other gets footfalls. 

Coming back to the ‘social nudge’ - what makes it such an interesting idea is while it is powerful, to unravel the power of a social nudge to create a desirable outcome, one has to wade through the sticky terrain of social norms, before one can taste sweet success. In some cases, like for the cafe business owners it could have been happenstance. How do we create this intentionally?

Norms become hardwired and become like the holy cow that no one questions. They are right because everyone is following them and because everyone is following them, these ideas start to seem even more right. Is there a circuit breaker that we could use to initiate behaviour change?

There is a school of thought that believes if we dig deep and think hard, we will stumble upon that one disruptive thought that would somehow create a behaviour change. I am not from that school of that and hence I don't believe there is a secret sauce that will do the trick. What instinctively makes sense to me and what I have seen over and over again is that like the wheels of time, the wheels of change also turn slowly. 

Overnight changes do happen but those are triggered by disasters staring at us in the face. We all learnt to wash our hands and wear a mask. People still do, which reveals another aspect of behaviour - that once behaviour change takes on a certain momentum it is difficult to expect a sudden halt or reversal. 

So what can break a default thinking/doing pattern? I got this answer from a Potato Trader in Agra who shared his native business wisdom as part of the interview I did with him. Stay with me!

The business of trading in perishables is not for the faint-hearted. Fortunes are made and can get wiped out overnight. What set him apart from the rest was his mindset. He said, “If I suffer a loss of 2 lakhs today from my potato business, I will find a way of recovering the money from the same business.” It sounded over simplistic at first but when he explained how; it made complete sense. He was living the maxim problems and opportunities are two sides of the same coin.  

The potato-trader logic made me realise - If any aspect of social behaviour has got intensified due to norms, the way to initiate momentum in a new direction would also come from creating new social norms.

It cant be just information or a catchphrase that creates the shift. If that were the case we would all have coloured hair by now because we are all worth it! 

The social behaviour comes from a belief (not a fact) 

Fact: 90% of Brain Growth Happens Before Kindergarten. 

Belief: Brain = learning and learning = read/write/recite numbers and words

Behaviour: Making children read and write as early as 3

The fact points to the idea that at that age play and exploration contributes to brain development. But the mental model (how we make sense of the world) that is based on a bouquet of beliefs gets in the way.

Mental model: 

Some of the mental models around learning that we have internalised over the years 

1. Memory strengthens by retrieval. Retrieval only works if there is something to retrieve. This is why we need books, teachers and classes. 
2. Knowledge grows exponentially. How much you’re able to learn depends on what you already know. (If my child learns the alphabet and numbers before entering school, once he is there he will be able to build on this foundation)
3. Practice at a task makes you better at it. (Hence make the child do the same reading and writing again and again)
4. Success is the best teacher. We learn from success more than we do from failure (hence stick to the tried and tested and do not venture into unchartered territories) 

Unsurprisingly, despite so much information about brain development in early years linked to play, parents and even schools still make little children read and write. And while a large majority operate in auto-pilot mode, there are always cracks in everything and that is how the light gets in. The crack could be making an occasional change, testing the waters and building on that success. Or it could be thinking about the possibilities that fall between the two extremes. While dirt is generally associated with bad and clean is considered good, Surf decided to use ‘mother earth’ to make a point that there is something between the two extremes that straddles the two worlds of dirt and good. The cracks could come by accidents but the stories could be amplified for others to follow. 

In her talk on ‘The Secret Life of Social Norms’, Michele Gelfand points to an important truth. “culture is not destiny, harness norms that are getting loose and loosen up norms that are getting too tight. Humans invented norms to better their lives and we need to go back to that truth”. 

#socialnudge #behavioralscience #socialnorms #earlychildhoodeducation

Hope amidst despair

There is a crack in everything and that’s how the light gets in! So goes the adage.

 

Consumer behaviourists are all too familiar with heuristics – the mental short cuts that help consumers make quick decisions to economize the effort involved in decision making. For those who aren’t familiar with heuristics, these could be…

 

Rules or mental markers that could guide you even if you were blindfolded, to walk down the supermarket aisle and pick up the exact pack of multi-grain loaf from amongst fifty other options.

 

 Hard-wired attitudes that prevent a woman from even entering the shop that sells the latest robotic cleaner, since she considers the human equivalent she employs far better at taking her instructions.

 

The habit that leads the elderly lady to the milk booth early morning to pick a fresh pack as soon as the milk delivery truck arrives even though the same milk is home-delivered minutes later.

 

Our moral judgements / guilt that have so far led us to believe that ‘screen time’ is a bad thing for our children

 

These heuristics make consumer behaviour sticky and tricky. Since these heuristics get created as the mind’s survival strategy against a deluge of choices, help end the unending debate between right and wrong.  And whatever is a matter of survival isn’t easy for us to change.  Unless there is something else that comes and threatens our survival. And then the needle shifts, just like that, over night.  A lot of marketing time and money is spent on identifying how to create a disruption in these set patterns of thinking / behaving.

 

And now the disruption has happened! With Covid-19, so much has shifted so suddenly that it would perhaps take the world a while to understand what happened and how many of these shift are here to stay.  Some shifts have already begun to bubble up on the surface.

 

What was at the fringes has / will soon become mainstream.

 

While many are still grappling with getting the execution right, the ‘idea’ of Online Education has in principle become acceptable amongst parents and educational institutes alike. While online education was always inching it’s way into people’s lives, it was always seen as a poorer cousin of the traditional approach and never really enjoyed the holy-grail status. The role of the teacher, the authority of the institution of school, the efficacy and reach of a book as a medium of learning were unquestioned by parents and teachers. By contrast, in less than two months, online courses and teachers have filled the market. From French to Yoga or even music, dance or art there is no dearth of online resources. Now that everyone has joined the online bandwagon what will really separate the wheat from the chaff is the individuals and institutes that are able to approach online pedagogy with a fresh perspective rather than just downsizing the offline methods to fit the small screen, which most so far seem to be doing.

 

Another related idea in education that has caught everyone’s fancy has been the idea of home schooling. With schools closed and learning expected to happen at home – suddenly home-schooling which so far only a fringe idea adopted by a niche community of parents as the chosen approach for educating their children, is now a subject of many dinner-table conversations.

 

Home schooling as an approach is markedly different in its philosophy from schooling-at-home during a crisis. Home schooling began as an alternative movement against the archaic practices of a traditional system, which emphasized conformity and standardisation in teaching methods, that some believed, seemed misaligned to what we needed as a society to progress and thrive i.e. diversity in talent and thinking perspectives.  Getting children to attend online sessions that last 4-6 hours interspersed with assignments and worksheets is far from home schooling.

 

The lesson in this for all of us is if the fabric is new, the yardstick would have to change too.

 

The emergency of the D-I-Y culture

 

DIY (do-it-yourself) has been a part of life in the west since the 1970s. The same value that is has now become popular in the Indian socio-political discourse as ‘amtanirbharta’ (independence).

 

The lockdown initiated people into new directions. Urban India that largely depends on house-help spent almost two months doing their own chores, cooking their own meals, doing their own hair-cuts, attending to repairs, health issues etc. with minimal outside help. Though house-help has appeared on the scene in parts, the pandemic with its crests and troughs might in the long term create the impetus for a shift towards home-automation solutions for home and personal care.

 

Businesses that have been traditionally service oriented could shift towards productizing their offer. DIY kits for salon or spa treatments. DIY meal-prep-boxes with the recipe card, ingredients in the right quantities and perhaps even fancy looking disposable crockery to prepare a gourmet meal in minutes. An emerging Montessori school in Bangalore has even created it’s own Montessori-material-kit to aid parents as they embark on their journey as teachers.

 

 

Connecting with the consumer through access

 

While on one hand social distancing restricted access, the brands, services or individuals that have stood out at such an unprecedented time, are the ones that have overcome the access barrier and created a real (physical) or an emotional connect with their customers. The medical community that has so far been averse to any remote-consultation has shifted almost entirely to phone / video consultations. Some banks (HDFC for instance) sent mobile ATMs to communities to make it easy for people to carry out banking transactions.  Retailers for stationery, books and toys created extensive WhatsApp communication to facilitate purchases before their e-stores could open. One of the most heart-warming online post I came across was about a maternity photo-shoot done by a photographer using iPhone Facetime app. The pictures were stunning.

 

If we look back at the last 3 months, I wouldn’t be wrong if I said that most of us have tried atleast a few products, vendors, services that were absolutely out of sync with our regular consumption pattern. While on one hand the economy is severely impacted as a result of Covid19, the pandemic has also given an unprecedented window for nimble small brands to capture a pie of the market that once was dominated by behemoths. The opportunity to convert the new consumer behaviour-bubbles that have just begun to surface, to unchallenged heuristics.

 

There are very few times, when life gives us the opportunity to start from a clean slate. Most of those moments involve the pain of letting go of all that was once familiar and comfortable. But in the vacuum that gets created also lies the opportunity to create something new.

Social distancing - an elusive idea ?

Social distancingis a novel idea to most Indians; perhaps as novel as the virus that has necessitated it. 

In the past two weeks messaging regarding social distancing has intensified from all sources – from the authorities, from doctors and health professionals, from well meaning individuals and even letters floating from people in other countries who have borne the consequences of ‘going about life as usual’ when the threat of a community outbreak was imminent. Yet somehow the message seems to be evading us. 

I am not referring to the class of people who do not have the luxury of ‘working-from-home’. It is the sight of the people huddled up together on their evening walks, play-parks full of toddlers, teenagers exchanging books and board games as they freely make their way in and out of homes of friends, the news of quiet in-home birthday parties, the half-hearted Holi celebrations that are surprising. This is a segment of society that is literate, well informed, well read about the consequences and who also enjoy the luxury of being able to work from home, stay at home, have no dearth of entertainment. 

Hence with this segment of society, socialising is not driven by need or lack of information about its consequences at an atypical time like this. A possible reason could be that there are perhaps cultural beliefs at play that influence behaviour and come in the way of social distancing. 

As a consumer researcher, I find such behaviour intriguing and wanted to explore some of these beliefs for two reasons: a. to just understand what is the kind of thinking that is at play here and b. many-a-time we have held these beliefs for so long that we are oblivious of their effect on our decisions and becoming aware that many others feel this way is the first step in the direction towards change. Hence, I spoke (telephonically J) to people about this issue and here are some beliefs I gathered…

Living in India, being amidst a crowd is the natural orderof things. 

“When there is no crowd in a place, that means there is something wrong with that place.” Given this mind set, being amidst a crowd feels normal. Cutting off and sitting at home is unnatural and perhaps a strong reminder of the fact that something is wrong. 

What if everyone thinks like meand no one ends up going to the little child’s birthday party, how bad that would be or what if no one thinks like meand my child and I are the only ones missing the fun. We are constantly thinking about what others would do, how they would feel or think as a yardstick for our decisions. 

Unfortunately at times like this with everyone feeling strained in some way or the other, the lines between right and wrong also become more rigid in our mind and judgements are quicker to come by. 

 We are a very collectivistic society as compared to the west. Collective thinking can very often overshadow or dilute individual decisions. 

“We had planned to go to a wedding. When the news about the virus was in the news, if I was on my own I wouldn’t have gone but it was very difficult to convince my in-laws not to go”

For some women – it is the working mom’s guilt that overrides rational arguments.“Life has been so busy off late, we’ve hardly had anytime to socialize. Now that I have some time with my child why not do some fun things with her”

Keeping away from the very people we have known seems like an extreme step to take when the danger is only a distant reality. ‘Being in balance is a virtue that is celebrated. ‘Do everything but in moderation and you’ll be safe’ is a phrase that is often heard in many situations. Being an outlier or an extremist is socially and culturally frowned upon.  

“We were going to a party with an educated, informed audience. I knew I was taking a risk but a calculated risk. I am also aware off all the precautions to be taken. I prioritize and socialize only on certain occasions and keep a distance for the rest. So one fun celebration with my baby and family when I know the precautions have been taken won’t hurt. 

“Actually this Corona Virus has created unnecessary fear amongst people. We can’t stop living” 

And the last and one of the strongest beliefs that is hardwired in our mind and a difficult one to combat is ‘if we have led reasonably good lives with enough good karma, nothing terribly disastrous will happen to us’. Faith is the ultimate shield against anything. 

With the official numbers of the positive test cases being small - there is a huge gap between the extent of threat that one is faced with and the action we are all expected to take. ‘Stay at home’ is such a simple thing to do, but it seems punitive and unnecessary at this time. It is analogous to telling a 5 year old not to touch the knife that is sharp and will hurt. The 5 year old has never experienced ‘sharp’ or ‘hurt’. For him these are just empty words floating in space devoid of any real meaning and hence will not heed to the caution until he has experienced it for himself and by which time it would be too late.  Lets not do the same as adults.